Sabres fans order the girlie sized cone

When driving and another driver does something irritating, a common response from most of us is to give them the finger. But that's what the other driver is expecting. It's an over used symbol of the road that elicits the response of "Meh" from opposing motorists. It's almost like waving to them.

So what can be done about this problem? And by problem, I mean making the other driver get the point that they have irked you and you are returning the favor to them. One might try yelling at them, but then they would look kind of ridiculous yelling in their car, especially when the other driver probably can't hear them. Yelling also gives the other driver the satisfaction of making you angry enough to be yelling and causing stress. So this really isn't a viable option.

Another option would be to go all "James Bond" on them and unleash missiles hidden behind the headlights, oil slicks from the rear, and other such destructive paraphernalia. This would probably be the most effective solution, if however the most unrealistic (not to mention illegal) one.

The best way that I have discovered so far for getting vengeance on the road is not through a display of anger, but an act of love. Blowing air kisses to be specific. Doing this to a driver who is causing you grief may have several effects. First off, they might be confused as to what just happened. Second, they might actually like it and thus calming them down and making them happy, which would benefit them as well as every other driver around them. Lastly (and this is my favorite) they will become so enraged and furious that their intimidation tactics of the road had no effect and they might even begin to question their own masculinity. That last bit works best when one male driver does this to another. It makes for fun times on the highway.

Needless to say, this post was brought about by my experiences on the road this evening while driving along and coming across a ruthless tailgater. They rode barely a few feet from my car, flashed their brights, etc. When they went to speed past me, the magic of the blown kiss was applied and struck with full effect. The other driver was confused and angry all at once. Then as he drove away, I saw a Buffalo Sabres sticker on his rear window. I thought that maybe he was so angry at me because he saw my Lightning license plate and realized that even a team from Florida has won a championship while Buffalo has none. I almost died laughing.

The night got even better with some toadlets, an awesome turtle, bats, zombies, and ice cream with my girlfriend.

Only one full week in and summer is just awesome.