Kanye strikes again

To the graduating high school class of 2010. I'm really happy for you and I'mma let you finish, but the graduating high school class of 2001 was the best class of all time.

Of all time.

Sabres fans order the girlie sized cone

When driving and another driver does something irritating, a common response from most of us is to give them the finger. But that's what the other driver is expecting. It's an over used symbol of the road that elicits the response of "Meh" from opposing motorists. It's almost like waving to them.

So what can be done about this problem? And by problem, I mean making the other driver get the point that they have irked you and you are returning the favor to them. One might try yelling at them, but then they would look kind of ridiculous yelling in their car, especially when the other driver probably can't hear them. Yelling also gives the other driver the satisfaction of making you angry enough to be yelling and causing stress. So this really isn't a viable option.

Another option would be to go all "James Bond" on them and unleash missiles hidden behind the headlights, oil slicks from the rear, and other such destructive paraphernalia. This would probably be the most effective solution, if however the most unrealistic (not to mention illegal) one.

The best way that I have discovered so far for getting vengeance on the road is not through a display of anger, but an act of love. Blowing air kisses to be specific. Doing this to a driver who is causing you grief may have several effects. First off, they might be confused as to what just happened. Second, they might actually like it and thus calming them down and making them happy, which would benefit them as well as every other driver around them. Lastly (and this is my favorite) they will become so enraged and furious that their intimidation tactics of the road had no effect and they might even begin to question their own masculinity. That last bit works best when one male driver does this to another. It makes for fun times on the highway.

Needless to say, this post was brought about by my experiences on the road this evening while driving along and coming across a ruthless tailgater. They rode barely a few feet from my car, flashed their brights, etc. When they went to speed past me, the magic of the blown kiss was applied and struck with full effect. The other driver was confused and angry all at once. Then as he drove away, I saw a Buffalo Sabres sticker on his rear window. I thought that maybe he was so angry at me because he saw my Lightning license plate and realized that even a team from Florida has won a championship while Buffalo has none. I almost died laughing.

The night got even better with some toadlets, an awesome turtle, bats, zombies, and ice cream with my girlfriend.

Only one full week in and summer is just awesome.

I just don't get it

Why is soccer so popular? I've tried on many occasions to get into the sport that seems to captivate the entire world with the exception of the United States and I just can't see the appeal. It's a slow paced game with no real action. Don't you dare call aimlessly running up and down the field action. It's not. Get over it hooligans.

I was doing some thinking while watching the snooze fest that is this "sport" and came up with some suggestions for improving it.

• Swords. No real explanation needed here. And for a little variety, the goalkeepers can have a crossbow.
• Have pairs of players from opposing teams tie their legs together three-legged race style. This should make the aimless running a little bit more entertaining to watch. This step works even better with the previously mentioned swords.
• Skewer the teams so that they resemble foosball players and have the fans control the action.
• Multiball.
• Instead of pulling cards, the referees get tasers.

Better yet, they could just revamp the entire game with a smaller field, smaller goals, a sheet of ice, give the players sticks, change the ball to a puck, and let them hit each other. That would probably be the best sport in the world.

Is it over?

And so ends another year of teaching. Four down and only thirty something left to go. At the end of every year so far I've been so happy to be done with school for ten solid weeks. Each year for different reasons. Sometimes the reasons are not so good and sometimes they're great.

This year's end brings about some great reasons. It'll hopefully be a summer filled with new beginnings and awesomeness.

I do get kinda sad to see certain students move on to 6th grade. I'm sure it'll hit even harder when students I have taught since kindergarten make that leap. But that's another four years away so I'm good for now. There's even a point in the summer break where I can't wait to get back to work. Not that I'm rushing things.

I'll gladly take that vacation now.

Tom Tom the Lady Cow

So a few days ago, a 5th grader created a character called Tom Tom the Lady Cow. It was confusing to me and I asked them to explain their creation. They said it was a cow named Tom Tom and she was a lady. That's about all the explanation I needed, as I doubt any more was really needed. Of coarse, the full title of their new creation was Tom Tom the Lady Cow and the Evil Eye patch Chicken. The minds of children are scary places but also filled with so much awesome.

It was a good weekend. I don't know what I did to deserve it, but the awesome keeps on coming my way. I just hope it's here to stay for a bit.

She makes me happy.

She makes me smile.